A fan magazine dedicated to the awesomes Brighton Rockers roller derby league. This issue was published on the 9th February 2019 for a double header event at the Dolphin in Haywards Heath. A super close A-team clash saw the Rockers edged out 195-196 by the seven skaters of Dundee Roller Derby, the B-team Rockerbillies went down 198-260 to London Rockin’ Rollers Badasses. This final regular issue of our magazines contains previews of both games, a retrospective, Player of the Year results, our favourite Rockers quotes, a list of A-team scores and much more. Many thanks to all the lovely interviewees, fab photographers and awesomes advertisers who kept us going for 25 issues to become the UK’s longest running roller derby magazine. We will continue to post content online and will return with some one-off magazines. Thank you all – you rule!
This Saturday (9th February) sees the mighty Brighton Rockers back in action at the Dolphin in Haywards Heath. Having sat out December’s event, the A-team Allstars return to the track to take on Dundee Roller Derby, whilst the Rockerbillies B-team face the Badasses of London Rockin’ Rollers. Doors are at 2pm with the A-team game at 2.30 followed by the Bs battle at around 4.30. Tickets are available online for £8 adults (£9.50 on the door), £7 students and Compass Card holders, with under 12s going free. See the link at the bottom of this piece to buy.
Car users should point their Sat Navs at RH16 1LY. Train users will have to get a replacement bus from Brighton as the line is shut all weekend for work on the tunnels. These run every ten minutes and take about 40 mins. The leisure centre is about six minutes walk east of the station and there’s a big Sainsbury’s halfway along. Early arrivers will find the pub opposite the station (the Burrell Arms) pleasant enough.
There are vending machines and a café bar in the venue lobby, whilst the nearest ATMs are at the side of Sainsbury’s. There will be the usual merch stall, contests and activities, plus possibly some Valentine’s and birthday (the Rockers turn nine on the 14th) related shenanigans. You can pick up the FINAL edition of our free magazine Turn Left on the door. This bigger than normal edition also entitles you to discounts at our namesake online skate shop and in Brighton’s Pub of the Year – wowser!
PREDICTIONS AND THAT
[Skip these two paragraphs if you don’t like to read predictions before a game] Flattrackstats offer two different predictions for the Brighton v Dundee A-team game. Their WFTDA rankings have the Rockers 289th (on 520.0 points) while Dundee are 266th (535.8). The visitors are given 55% change of victory with an expected differential of 21:20 meaning something like a 189-180 away win. The global rankings favour the Scots more strongly, giving them 76% chance of victory and a 27:19 differential (eg a 189-133 away win). With Dundee bringing a very small squad, we’re expecting the game to be much closer.
How close are we expecting the B-team game between the Rockerbillies (219th in Europe on 427.3 points) and LRR Badasses (208th, 434.5) to be? When we checked a few days ago Flattrackstats called this as 50% chance of victory for both sides with an expected differential of 2:2 meaning a flatout draw. We have NEVER seen FTS predict a drawn game before and it isn’t even possible within the rules (overtime jams are added until there’s a winner). They’ve now altered their prediction to give Brighton 51% chance of victory. A predicted differential of 51:50 still means only a couple of points in it! Let’s hear from some skaters…
“For the game against Dundee we’re bringing in some newer players who haven’t played for the A-team before. They’re amazing and should be interesting to watch. As for the B-team game, based on the stats it should definitely be a close one!”
SHAMBOLIC, BRIGHTON ROCKERS
“It’s the first game of the season and we are playing with a pretty small roster, but that’s actually a very common theme for us. You’ll see our skaters get a LOT of track time, but we’ve been working on our endurance derby to compensate, and we all love playing together.”
LISTON, DUNDEE ROLLER DERBY
“We love the Brighton Rockers and always have a brilliant time playing them, regardless of the result. We will be ready for all the Rockerbillies skaters to really bring it. We know this will be a tough and physical game, and we’re looking forward to the challenge.”
EVA LA TART, LRR BADASSES
[Photo by John Hesse]
BUY TICKETS: https://www.brightonrockers.com/shop-cttr
FACEBOOK EVENT: https://www.facebook.com/events/300647417461028/
The mighty Brighton Rockers are off to sunny Austria this weekend as they take on Vienna Roller Derby’s A and B-teams at the capital’s HAKOAH Sports Centre. If you’re going to be in the area, or you fancy a last minute trip across (you can still get flights from Gatwick for around £100 return), doors open at 2.30pm local time this Saturday 13th October. Tickets are 14 euro and free for under-12s. The A-team game is at 3pm with the B-team match at 5.30pm. The meat in this derby sandwich is a 4.50pm show from the awesomes Vienna Fearleaders – the most famous interval entertainment in the whole of world roller derby!
PREDICTIONS AND THAT
[Skip to after the next photo if you don’t like to read predictions before a game.] Both Saturday’s games are rematches from a double header that took place in Haywards Heath in February of last year. Vienna emerged triumphant in both games that time, winning 262-126 and 242-107 respectively in the A/B games. Flattrackstats expects something similar in the B-team rematch, with Vienna Beasts (134th in Europe) given 94% chance of defeating 342nd placed Brighton Rockerbillies. Expected differential of 59:22 works out as something like a 236-88 home win.
Things are more complicated when it comes to predicting the A-team game. Vienna place 52nd in Europe with the Rockers 74th. The hosts are given 73% chance of victory with a 46:33 differential. That mathses out at around 184-132 to Vienna. However, if you switch to the WFTDA ranking system (and this is a WFTDA sanctioned match-up) then Brighton rank slightly higher, 272nd to Vienna’s 276th. Home advantage still swings the prediction the Austrians’ way, but here they only have 58% chance of victory and a super narrow 35:32 predicted differential. That would suggest maybe a 175-160 result, which is ‘anything could happen’ territory in the world of roller derby!
SHAMBOLIC – BRIGHTON ROCKERS ROLLER DERBY
Any thoughts about this weekend’s trip to Vienna? What are the best and worst bits of travelling overseas as a league?
I am SO excited about this trip. There are about 25 of us going, with an awesome travel theme, of course. The worst aspect is the 4am departure from Brighton, closely followed by a certain orange airline’s baggage restrictions. I will be wearing my helmet all the way. I’ll let you know the best bits when we get back.
The Rockers played Vienna here in Sussex early last year. The Austrian league’s A and B-teams both beat you by a fair margin. What are you expecting from the rematches?
We’re fully prepared for a tough game, but I feel that the A-team are stronger and smarter than last year, and we’ve been training hard for this. The B-team is a very different team from those that played last year so it will be interesting to watch. Results wise, I honestly don’t know. As long as we play the best game we can, that’s the main thing.
Any particular Vienna players or tactics you’ll be looking out for on track?
I can’t remember what I had for dinner yesterday so individual players are a blur; however as a team Vienna are a horrible combination of both strong and fast, which is my nightmare from opponents – urgh. We’ll be looking out for their Vienna Fearleaders cheerleading squad, for sure!
And any particular Brighton players that people should look out for on Saturday?
My team are all superstars in my eyes! Though I had to jam against my own line-up this week, and I’m glad I don’t have to at the weekend.
Any off-track plans for the weekend?
Oh my, I cannot wait to see the after party outfits. They’re gonna be something else for sure! We’ve got a couple of days to have an explore of Vienna. I’ll be eating mostly. Semmels and Sachertorte, mmmm….
Finally, you recently announced a home event at Haywards Heath on December 1st. The A-team are sitting this one out, but the B-team and brand new C-team are in action.
I think that event is going to be a biggie. The C-team have been training so hard and finally their friends and family get to come and see what all the fuss is about! The A-team are focusing on bringing up some fantastic new players from the B-team, so we’ve decided to hang back on a home game this time, but we will of course be cheering on the other Rockers teams from the crowd.
[Photos by John Hesse]
The mighty Brighton Rockers are back in action in Haywards Heath this Saturday (May 5th) as part of the Fringe Festival. They will be facing the Paris league Lutèce Destroyeuses in both A and B-team games. This will be the Rockers’ first WFTDA sanctioned home game, having fairly recently become full members of the world governing body. With the teams incredibly closely matched in the rankings, this is one event not to miss! Doors are at 2pm at the Dolphin Leisure Centre, with the B-teams facing off at 2.30 followed by the A-game at 4.30ish. Adult tickets are £8 online from the link at the bottom of this piece or £9.50 on the door, with discounts for students and Compass Card holders, plus free entry for under 12s.
Car users should point their Sat Navs at RH16 1LY whilst the venue is seven minutes walk from Haywards Heath train station – turn left and follow the signs. The pub opposite the station, the Burrell Arms, is OK for a passing pint. It can get busy with people watching football on the TVs, but there’s a big beer garden out back. There’s a large Sainsbury’s (or Asdabury’s if it’s called that yet) halfway between the station and venue, which also has the closest ATMs to the venue. There’s a bar in the hall, along with various vendors and more. The after party will be back in Brighton at The Victory Inn. Don’t forget to pick up our free magazine Turn Left on the door for a full preview, an Officials Special, an interview with the departing Racey and more. Time to check out the predictions…
[***SPOILER ALERT – SKIP DOWN TO AFTER THE NEXT PHOTO IF YOU DON’T LIKE READING PREDICTIONS BEFORE GAMES***] We’re going to pretty much ignore the WFTDA rankings here. Whilst the Rockers A-team do have one on Flattrackstats, it’s unofficial as they need to play three WFTDA games to get an official ranking. The listed ranking is based on their sole WFTDA game to date (away to Barcelona) and any prediction based on a single result could be wildly swingy. If you twist our arm, we’ll tell you that the Rockers place 238th and Lutèce 255th in WFTDA, and the predictor gives Brighton’s A-team 69% chance of victory and something like a 160-130 home win (16:13 differential).
The European rankings are based on loads of games and thus probably far more reliable. Here it’s Lutèce A who have the advantage, placing 51st on 614.7 points, whilst the Rockers are 64th (604.0). The visiting A-team are given 52% chance of victory, with an expected differential of 32:31 equating to a super close 160-155 Lutèce win. It’s the same story in the B-team game. Les P’tites Frappes place 250th (470.9 pts) with the Rockerbillies 282nd (461.1). Again the visitors have 52% chance of victory, and the differential here is even closer, with 44:43 equating to something like a 176-172 away win. Looks like we’re in for a couple of nailbiters if these predictions are close to accurate!
“I don’t really know much about Lutèce at all, but I have heard their level is very similar to ours, so I expect that we’ll all have to work really hard. I’m a bit superstitious and I believe that predicting results gives bad luck, so I think I’ll stick to saying that both the A and B-teams will smash it!”
COLD CRUSH, BRIGHTON ROCKERS
“We know the Brighton A-team are above us on the WFTDA ranking at Flattrackstats, and that they recently beat the Barcelona team we narrowly lost to in November. We think that both games will be tough. We’ve never met the Brighton league before and we’re looking forward to it.”
CAPUTRA, LUTÈCE DESTROYEUSES
[Photos by John Hesse and NSP 189]
FACEBOOK EVENT PAGE
The mighty Brighton Rockers A-team are in action overseas tomorrow (17th March) with an away game at Barcelona Roller Derby at 4pm local time (3pm UK time). Keep an eye on the Rockers and/or BRD Facebook pages for the final score. If Flattrackstats are to believed, this could be a close one. [Skip the rest of this paragraph if you don’t like reading predictions before a game.] The Brighton Rockers rank 70th in Europe on 597.4 ranking points, whilst Barcelona’s Ingles de Acero (which we think translates to English Steel) are 79th on 586.8. Home advantage closes this gap considerably, with FTS giving the Rockers a 52% chance of victory here. Predicted differential of 33:32 works out as something like a 165-160 Brighton win, which is super close in derby terms! Let’s hear from one of the first Rockers out there…
“Myself and Dolores Diablo are the first Rockers to arrive in Barcelona. The rest of the team are joining us later today (Thursday) or Friday. It’s Diablo’s first away game and she’s super excited! The weather is lovely and we have all of Friday to go see sights and eat all the great food. Us two know nothing about the Barcelona team, but based on what we saw of Team Spain in World Cup we reckon it will be an aggressive and fast game. Away games are the best team bonding things you can do. For this game we have a huge Airbnb that we’re all staying in. Tomorrow night we are going to do a massive pot-luck and prepare for the game. Barcelona is great for outdoor skating, so we are definitely going to do a lot of that, and we’ve been told that our after party place is open until 6am so you know how that will end!”
FINN McCRUEL – BRIGHTON ROCKERS
FB EVENT PAGE: https://www.facebook.com/events/417887521997736/
Click on the cover image above to check out the latest issue of our Brighton Rockers fanzine. This issue came out on the 24th February 2018 for a double header of Brighton A v Toulouse B and Brighton B v Team Dragon. This one’s a World Cup Special featuring Rockers’ memories of the recent tournament in Manchester and more. If you’re after a physical copy there are a handful now in the Evening Star and Bierhaus pubs. Many thanks to all our awesomes interviewees, fab photographers and ace advertisers including Meadow Yurts, Pure Nuff Stuff, JW Lennons and more. Yay!
We busted open the ballot box that was at the Rockers event last month. We hired an army of abacus twiddlers to tot up the physical and online votes. We ordered some badges and printed out some certificates. The only thing left to do now is to announce which super awesome bags of awesomeness have won what. So let’s do that…
OTHER OF THE YEAR – MISTRESS VON UBER VIXEN
This category covers everyone who isn’t a player, referee or NSO. Ten different names put forward for this one, with an actual baby finishing in third place – well done Kit N Run Junior! Photographer John Hesse has to settle for second, whilst bench coach Mistress (who missed out by just half a point last year) takes the gold.
Past winners: Tenacious P (2016), Mass Janeycide (2015)
OFFICIAL OF THE YEAR – REFEREE DAHMER
This category tends to be dominated by refs rather than NSOs, though Hissing Hellcat finished joint second this year alongside two-time winner LaserHammer. The victor was never really in doubt though as “ref with the short shorts” Dahmer bagged twice the number of votes of everyone else combined!
Past winners: LaserHammer (2016), Noise Tank (2015), LaserHammer (2014)
ICON OF THE YEAR – FARMERGEDDON
This award for “the most inspiring Brighton Rocker on or off track” saw the most names put forward in any category. A dozen people were in the running and it ended in a photo finish between Farmergeddon and last year’s winner Finn McCruel, with the former just nudging ahead.
Past winners: Finn McCruel (2016), Shambolic (2015)
ROOKIE OF THE YEAR – RAGING BEAVER
Five skaters made their Rockers debuts in the game our ballot box was out at. These all picked up multiple votes, as did a trio of others. Kit N Run finishes a strong second, but Raging Beaver (with more than 40% of the vote) grabs the gold.
Past winners: Farmergeddon (2016), Speedy Gonzalex (2015)
B-TEAMER OF THE YEAR – SLAP DASH
Ten different skaters picked up votes in this category, but it ended up as a two-horse race, with the Rockerbillies captain Slap Dash edging out Yorkshire Brewser by a single vote.
Past winners: Cruelty Spree (2016), Bionic Betty (2015)
BLOCKER OF THE YEAR – FINN McCRUEL
Hairy Fairy’s hopes of making it three years in a row falter as she has to settle for third place here, just behind Cake Or Death. Finn took almost 50% of the vote to smash this one.
Past winners: Hairy Fairy (2016), Hairy Fairy (2015), Emma The Condemner (2014)
JAMMER OF THE YEAR – DR WHOOLIGAN
2014 Player Of The Year Whooligan has to settle for the Jammer gong this time out. Others making strong showings in the voting include Shambolic, Farmergeddon, Hippy Hippy Skate and Chaka Carnage.
Past winners: Shambolic (2016), Skate Bush (2015), Kapow (2014)
PLAYER OF THE YEAR – SHAMBOLIC
With two-time winner Gin last spotted in Australia (on the C-team of World Champions VRDL) the coast was clear for someone else to grab this year’s main award. Up hop, step and skipped Gin’s former housemate Shambolic, who edged ahead of a strong chasing pack (Finn McCruel, Cruelty Spree, Farmergeddon, Cake Or Death and others) to take the win.
Past winners: Gin Atomic (2016), Gin Atomic (2015), Dr Whooligan (2014)
That rounds up the eight categories on the voting form, but a minimum badge order of ten means we add two extra awards as usual. The MOST VOTED FOR gong is for whoever picks up the most votes across all of the categories without actually winning any of them. After finishing third in this ‘don’t call it biggest loser’ contest last year, our WINNER – CAKE OR DEATH nudges ahead of Brewser, Kapow and Cruelty for the victory here.
Finally we have our FRIEND OF BRATS award. I know we bang on about our fanzine advertisers a lot, but the mag wouldn’t be possible without them. An issue costs around £150 to get printed and the lovely ad folks cover the vast majority of that. Having taken out a full page ad in every issue since we started, our WINNER – MEADOW YURTS have paid more towards our print bill than anyone else. They’re totally ace and everyone reading this should go and buy a yurt off them right now… preferably two.
That rounds up the 2017 BRATS Awards. If you won one, yay you! Please get in touch and let us know how we can get your super fancy (not fancy at all) winner’s badge and certificate to you. If you didn’t win one, rest assured you’re still pretty awesome and everyone says so (even if it’s only behind your back). Here’s to a derby-packed 2018 for one and all. Hurrah!